Men in Twisted reloaded
by Agent R
Summary: J and M are thrown into a new reality after a crash, where 2 teenagers explain they're in a new society where MIB are wanted men, because K threatened to kill the residents long ago...I had to reload this to make a few changes, very funny, hope you enjoy
1. Default Chapter

Men In Twisted  
  
Chapter 1, Twisted Reality  
  
September 2003, Earth, Agent J and M were heading back to MIB headquarters.  
  
M: What a case, six 500-foot stingrays attack in the center of New York. Things get strange in September.  
  
J: Bah with September, hell with September, I hate September, I'm allergic to September!  
  
M: How can you be allergic to September?  
  
J: That's when everybody's stupid! I take that back, it's when they're stupid the most! If I said it once I said it again, we're MIB, not the exterminator!  
  
Once they returned to headquarters, well, things had changed since last time, everything was 180 degrees different. J was at his locker 652J, they had numbered every single locker and stuck a letter on the end. He heard sudden screaming, struggling, and yelling over at 815 M.  
  
J: M, what is going on?  
  
M: I opened the locker and he BIT me!  
  
J: Frank!  
  
Frank: What? It gets lonely in there; I thought he was the garbage man!  
  
J: Get out of there! I tell you M, the stupid people of New York would be lost if it weren't for us!  
  
Uhoh, they got assigned for another complaint, 9,000-pound tapeworm in Time Square. J and M weren't getting a break since last August when a 600-foot rat attacked in the subway. You're probably wondering what happened to K again? Well, now there were several types of MIBs, there was beginners, amateurs, mediums, above normal, highly motivated, and professionals. K was a professional; J and M were still mediums. J claimed come the next three weeks he'd move up with K, M was a natural born medium; he didn't have to start at the bottom. Once he was assigned Agent M, he was kicked to the middle.  
  
They walked out to the car, M got into the driver's seat, but J wasn't pleased.  
  
J: Oh no you don't, I'm driving.  
  
M: No, I'm driving.  
  
J: No, I'M driving.  
  
M: That's what you said last time, I'm driving.  
  
J: I'm driving!  
  
M: I'm driving.  
  
J: I am.  
  
M: I am.  
  
Both: You are!  
  
M exhaled as J sighed.  
  
M: Apparently neither one of us can trust the other.  
  
J: Apparently so, I'm driving, move over!  
  
M made a fist behind J's back, and swung forth, but he pulled it back as J turned around. J started it up, and they took off at 379 miles per hour.  
  
J: Gotta keep it below the speed limit you know, this is a crowded lane.  
  
After a while, they kept being bashed into from behind, J looked behind.  
  
J: Uhoh.  
  
M: What?  
  
J: We got some crazy driver behind us.  
  
M: I'll take care of him.  
  
J: YOU'LL take care of him?  
  
M: YOU wanna deal with him?  
  
J: Go right ahead.  
  
M: Thank you.  
  
M jumped into the backseat to yell at the driver so they could be closer to the expression 'eye to eye'. But M got knocked back into the front.  
  
J: What happened?  
  
M: He didn't want to talk; he's trying to run us off.  
  
J: The only way to get someone like that taken care of is to lose them, hold on, we're gonna jump it to 678.  
  
J put it into shift, and they started bumping into everything at least 100 yards off the ground.  
  
M: I can see why the last two who tried this came in as fatalities.  
  
Frank popped up in the back seat.  
  
Frank: Me too!  
  
J+M: FRANK!  
  
Frank: So did ya miss me?  
  
J: Frank, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be back there sorting the mail!  
  
Frank: I thought you two could use some backup.  
  
M: The only backup we need is 25,000 pounds of stuffing back there so when we get thrown around we'll have a less complicated fall...  
  
J: Uhoh.  
  
Frank and M: Now what?  
  
J: The accelerator's going into high gear, I can't control it.  
  
Frank and M: Uh oh!  
  
It went up to 1,025, they went storming through everything, they ran into the side of a building and crashed. They got knocked unconscious; J woke up in the front seat and realized something went wrong. They weren't on Earth anymore, that was for sure, the sky was brown in some places, others purple, mostly gray. All around, the buildings were old and condemned looking, people were basically up to their armpits in garbage. There was basically one thing that bothered J, when they landed; someone stole the roof off the car!  
  
J: I'm gonna slap the punk who did this, I-----M, where'd you go? M? M?  
  
J stood up and looked around, Frank jumped into the passenger seat.  
  
Frank: J, this ain't looking too good.  
  
J: You're telling me, where's M?  
  
Frank: Over there.  
  
J looked over his shoulder; M was on the concrete ground not breathing or anything! Just then, J saw two people in the shadows run over to M. They were covered by darkness so he couldn't see what they looked like. It was apparently a girl and a boy, one of them grabbed M's wrist and the other brought his head up.  
  
Girl: No pulse.  
  
Boy: No breath.  
  
Girl: No nothing! It looks like we've got no choice!  
  
J watched the boy slightly dig his nails into M's neck and zap him! That did the trick, M was conscious again, the two started to runaway, but J stopped them.  
  
J: Freeze, MIB.  
  
Girl: Out of the way, Jay!  
  
J: What?  
  
Light hit the two, they looked somewhat the same, despite the genders, they were 5'5, black hair, brown eyes, dark/light skinned, with 1 1/2 inch nails on their hands, and strange marks all over.  
  
J: Who are you?  
  
Girl: Allright, ya badgered it out of us, I'm Z, this is my twin brother X.  
  
J: Z and X?  
  
M: Apparently they work very effectively.  
  
Z: Yeah, and if you don't mind stranger, we've got places to go, people to see, property to vandalize.  
  
J: Hold it!  
  
J grabbed the girl by the neck of her shirt and pulled her back.  
  
Z: Yes?  
  
J: Tell me something, where are we?  
  
Z: Twisted.  
  
M: I know it is, but where are we?  
  
X: You're new around here, Twisted is the name of it, it's a small planet, rather large once you've been around it once or twice though.  
  
Z: Yeah, and I'd like to see it for the 36,000th time today thank you.  
  
J: Hold it!  
  
M: J, look!  
  
J turned around to see what was left of the car was gone now!  
  
X: I see they're making good time today.  
  
J: Look, I don't want to hurt you.  
  
Z: Don't worry, you can't hurt me, go ahead, slap me.  
  
J: What?  
  
Z: You heard me, slap me.  
  
J: Now hold on there, I am not going to slap a minor.  
  
Z and X repeated the M word and started laughing.  
  
Z: I'm no minor, I'm 2,738.  
  
M: They age pretty well around here.  
  
J: Listen here kid; I've had a very bad day today.  
  
Z: I can tell by your breath.  
  
J: Listen, I've had to deal with a town full of stupid people cause we had a 600 foot fish attack in Time Square, I was doing 1,025 miles and hour because some Kamikaze driver kept bashing into me, and now I wake up in a town off my planet, a couple of punks stole the non-removable roof of my car, and now the whole thing is missing!  
  
X: You don't work with this guy, do you?  
  
M: Yes I do.  
  
Z: Don't that just figure? Anybody else can get stuck with Bud Abbot and Lou Costello, here we got Morgan Freeman and Jackie Chan, don't ask.  
  
J: So just what do you propose we do? We don't know anything about this place, and furthermore, everything we had with us is gone, our guns, our communicators, our neuralizers, and the car!  
  
Z opened her mouth, but a car full of idiot aliens (like the zombies driving from Return of the Living Dead Pt II) came up the road.  
  
M: What is that?  
  
Z: Don't even ask.  
  
Too late, one of the aliens in the passenger seat turned his head and started spitting; the aliens jumped out of the car and started attacking. All of a sudden, there was shooting, and people running around and yelling. J started beating on an alien, but it didn't do any damage, X came after the alien, grabbed his feet, flipped him upside-down and stomped on his face. The alien started yelling in agony, while two other tried putting M in a headlock, Z jumped up and punched them in the nose.  
  
J: Now what'll we do, genius?  
  
Z: I say we take the fight inside.  
  
M: Inside where???  
  
X: Inside there!  
  
J and M turned around, a great big building, apparently it was new, it wasn't dark brown and deep gray, and it didn't have 50,000 cockroaches living in it.  
  
M: Do you think we should?  
  
J: Do we have a choice?  
  
Z: Not around here, get going, move it M!  
  
J and M: We're going, we're going!  
  
Z and X shoved J and M inside the building; it used to be a restaurant, apparently before the welcome committee came to town. It was completely deserted, no one around.  
  
J: Did a plague come through here?  
  
X: Yeah, a plague called 'Agent K' of MIB.  
  
J: K?  
  
Z: Yeah, we figured everybody heard of him, came here a couple months ago, ran amuck in the whole place, ruined everything, ran everybody out of town. We're just now recovering from when he caused the earthquake.  
  
M: What earthquake? We're not even on Earth!  
  
Z tightly pressed her hands against M's cheeks.  
  
Z: Will you just be quiet for once? I'm starting to think I liked you better unconscious.  
  
J didn't seem to be getting the point, Z and X basically had to spell it out for them.  
  
Z: You're in a place where we track down and kill MIB.  
  
X: Yeah, around here, they're basically the only wanted men, well then there's the other nutball.  
  
J: Who's that?   
  
Z: He's the head honcho of a bunch of idiots; I recognize his face anywhere, like a rat.  
  
J found they were just wasting time with this.  
  
J: What are we supposed to do now? Put a sign up and yell to the aliens out there 'drinks on the house'?  
  
They heard loud footsteps stomping up the building, up to the roof.  
  
Z: Never say drinks on the house to an alien.  
  
X: Just like never say step on it, to a roach.  
  
Frank: Or flee to a...  
  
Everybody: FRANK!  
  
Frank: Yes?  
  
J: Last time you said you only looked like a dog.  
  
Frank: I do, and you would be very much surprised how much fleas take that expression likely to anything like me.  
  
Z: You mean fleas always jump on a coffee table with teeth?  
  
Frank: HEY!  
  
M: Look out!  
  
The whole front window came crashing down on Z and X, J and M were pinned against the wall, Frank was watching from the doorway to the kitchen.  
  
Alien 1: Take that, scum breath.  
  
Alien 2: Good job, let's get lost.  
  
Alien 3: hiccup I'm thirsty...  
  
Z and Z picked up the front window and threw it back into place.  
  
M: What---how?  
  
Frank: What he means to say is...How in the hell did you do that?  
  
X: What do you mean?  
  
J: How did that whole window fall on you and nothing happened?  
  
Z: You must be new around here, we already told you, there's a thing that anybody who came from Twisted can't get hurt if something happens. The whole window comes down on us, nothing happens, Agent K shot at us about 3 ba-zillion times, nothing happened.   
  
M: So what you're saying is you can't suffer from physical damage?  
  
Z: The only physical around here is when Mrs. Kree-ak goes to the doctor's.  
  
X: Of course there is one thing that we do suffer from.  
  
J: What's that?  
  
Z started twitching and shaking, it was mainly in her left arm, it curled up, went into a windup and almost hit M in the face. J grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her to restrain her.  
  
Z: That.  
  
M: What was that?  
  
X: A nerve spasm.  
  
J: NERVE spasm?  
  
Z: It's a lot different up here than on Earth, honey, we suffer spasms; they come and go, like a headache.  
  
M: Like I've got a horrible headache, the last thing I need is two 8-foot gorillas putting me in a headlock.  
  
X: No, the last thing you need is two 8-foot gorillas rocking you to sleep.   
  
Z: We know, we've had it done to us before, not too pleasant, I.........  
  
J and M turned to Z, her eyes opened wide and she fell on the floor.  
  
J: What just happened?  
  
X: She did it again.  
  
M: Did what again?  
  
X: She's got a problem, sometimes she overloads on------shall we call it, I don't know, maybe frustration, obligation, whatever it is. She overloads on it quite often, and apparently she's not the type that screams, or throws thing----well actually no, sometimes she does throw things, but that's when she's happy.  
  
M: So she faints?  
  
X: Yes and no, in one sense, it's a faint, in another, it's a period of time that it takes to lower the level of frustration from her mind.  
  
M: I don't understand.  
  
J: And I don't care, come on M, let's see if we can find the punks who stole the car. I---  
  
M: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Frank: Uhoh, I smell trouble.  
  
X: Look!  
  
Z turned over, revealing a small device on her neck, resembling a microchip, only wider, it was about two inches high and 1 1/2 inches wide. J took it off her neck and realized it was hot, whatever it was, they suddenly heard cackling coming from around the side. They watched through the window and listened closely, the aliens that ransacked the outside earlier planted it on her to kill her. They walked off, laughing at their evil deed.  
  
X: I don't believe it,  
  
M: Me either, how could they do that?  
  
Z: They didn't.  
  
Everybody turned to Z; she peeled a small blue patch off her neck, where the chip was.  
  
Z: Stupid over there forgot to take off the protective guard before he put it on, that thing couldn't do any damage if it was hooked up to a time bomb...What am I saying?  
  
M tossed it to Z; she tossed it back to him.  
  
M: You take it!  
  
Z: I've already had my turn, you take it!  
  
M: I don't want it!  
  
Z: Me either.  
  
M: Happy birthday.  
  
Z: Merry Christmas!  
  
M: It's not Christmas.  
  
Z: Happy Hanukah then!  
  
M: It's not Hanukah either!  
  
Z: Habarigani perhaps?!  
  
M: Nooooooooooooo.  
  
Z: One potato  
  
M: Two potato  
  
Z: Three potato four  
  
M: Five potato  
  
Z: Six potato  
  
M: Seven potato more.  
  
X: Here we go again.  
  
Z: One  
  
M: Two  
  
Z: Eat your shoe, three  
  
M: Four  
  
Z: Where's the door, five  
  
M: Six  
  
Z: Pick up sticks, seven  
  
M: Eight.  
  
Z: You're human bait, nine  
  
M: Ten.  
  
Z: Here we go again.  
  
J: I don't believe this...  
  
Z: My  
  
M: Mother  
  
Z: Told  
  
M: Me  
  
Z: To  
  
M: Pick   
  
Z: The  
  
M: Very  
  
Z: Best  
  
M: And  
  
Z: You  
  
M: Are  
  
Z: It.  
  
M: I win, what am I saying?  
  
M threw it to Z, Z threw it to X, J took it from X and threw it out the window. It exploded!  
  
Z: Pays to say a mouthful now and then.  
  
(That's the end of chapter one; I'll have 2 up soon.) 


	2. Getting Adapted

Men in Twisted  
  
This is Chapter 2, picking up from last time.  
  
Rating-PG  
  
Genre-humor  
  
Disclaimer: Stands as last time, and if you see anything that ties in with other shows or movies, sorry, not responsible!  
  
Chapter 2, Getting Adapted  
  
With the explosion finally dying down, Z fell to the floor and fainted again.  
  
J: What happened this time?  
  
X: This time she just fainted.  
  
M helped in trying to revive her.  
  
J: M, what're you doing?  
  
X: Get off his back, man, just cuz he's working with you doesn't mean he can't be human.  
  
M lowered his head down to Z's chest to see if he could hear a heartbeat, in a flash, Z popped up.   
  
Z: Ah, funny boy, kiss me you fool!  
  
Afterwards, M stared spitting and wiping his mouth with his hands.  
  
M: Off top of my head, I'm guessing she's okay.  
  
Frank: Allright gentlemen, I'm ready, where's the massacre taking place?  
  
J: Frank, what're you doing in uniform?  
  
Frank: I packed it incase of an emergency, after what I've seen, this qualifies as an emergency.  
  
J: Lose the suit.  
  
M: Don't listen to him, keep the suit.  
  
J: Lose the suit!  
  
M: Keep the suit.  
  
J: Lose the suit  
  
M: Keep the suit.  
  
Z: Why don't we have him dress himself half way, and the other half can go naked?  
  
Frank: Look J, you want help or not? I decided to come incase you and M needed some help.  
  
J: And so far, we haven't and you haven't been any help to begin with.  
  
Frank: Hey!  
  
Z: Forget, let's just get out of here before they come back.  
  
M: I'm with her.  
  
X: Since this morning I haven't found anyone who isn't.  
  
J banged his head against the wall and walked out with them.  
  
X to M: That reminds me, how in the world did you become an agent?  
  
M: It's a long story, you don't want to know.  
  
X: Probably, I don't like to listen to people, mainly because they're older than I am and they slow me down. You however, I wouldn't be sure which side of the clock to set you on.  
  
J: Would someone mind telling me exactly what we're doing now?  
  
Z punched J in the face, knocking him out.  
  
M: What're you doing?   
  
Z: Be quiet, bring him with me, I've work to do.  
  
They dragged J's body into a medical institute, they had him laid out on a cold metal table, Z went through a bunch of fluids used for injections.  
  
X: Do you think it'll work?  
  
Z: We'll have only a few seconds to get what we need from him, we must work fast.  
  
M: What is that?  
  
Z: Your friend is hiding something, I want to know what it is, these are truth serums, the problem is they only last a short while, we might have to give him a few dozen of them.  
  
M: That reminds me, how did you know who we were when we came here?  
  
Z: We have our ways, my friend, now I would advise you to step back, sometimes these things don't go so well up front...  
  
Z took the injections and gave them to J one by one, within a few seconds, his eyes opened and glowed bright blue.  
  
Z: Ah, Agent J, tell me, from what organization is it that you come from of which you are so strict?  
  
J started talking in a robot voice  
  
J: Alien creature Z, I am Agent Jay from Men In Black, a secret organization...  
  
Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've already heard all that from Kay, time to wake up.  
  
Z pinched her nails into J's leg, his eyes returned to normal color and he sat up.  
  
J: What just happened?  
  
X: We knocked you out and stuck you with 42 injections.  
  
J: M, why didn't you do anything?  
  
Z: We already went over the details with your friend, J, had he tried anything stupid, we would've simply blown off his head and yours.  
  
J: Strict...  
  
X: Not entirely.  
  
Z: Let's get out of here.  
  
They decided to hightail it back to the restaurant, the aliens who were driving got on about nine gallons of coffee and sugar, and were driving around the block like clockwork idiots.  
  
J: We could get them while they don't know what they're doing.  
  
Z: Jay, don't be stupid, they never know what they're doing, they just do it.  
  
M: Somehow that doesn't surprise me...  
  
In came a new pack of aliens, all different from the others, one was eight feet tall, another was two feet tall. One of them was purple, one was green, another was grey, and they were all ugly and had to go.  
  
J and X started choking a couple that came closest to human size, Z and M were watching from behind the counter. Z took a glass of red liquid and handed it to M, then she pointed to an alien.  
  
Z: You wanna help? Drink this, and spit on him, his head will turn 360 degrees and he'll desentigrate.  
  
M: What is it? Benzite acid?  
  
Z: No, cherry cola, nobody likes that stuff around here.  
  
J and X were doing okay with the two suckers they snatched, but against the whole pack, they were getting their behinds whooped. A ten foot creature appeared in front of M, making hideous faces, M spit in his face, he started spinning around in circles and disappeared.  
  
M: What do you know? It works.  
  
X and Z appeared joined at the hip now, they started bashing the brains out of the aliens and they ran.  
  
J: How'd you pull that one off?  
  
Z: Family trait, when a set of twins are born, they have the ability to conjoin for short periods of time before being separated again. Let's get out of here and go some place where the people are alive.  
  
X lead the way out with Z behind him, with J and M following, just then X stopped, and Z, M, and J bashed into him and they fell down in an orderly fashion.  
  
Z: X, what in Twisted was that for man?  
  
X: Z, we can't take these guys to a public place, look at them, they set one foot into the place, they get their heads blown off.  
  
Z: They are a pretty gruesome sight, aren't they?  
  
J: What're you talking about?  
  
Z: I told you, around here, MIBs are wanted men, and they'll only take you one way, dead, someone sees you in a black suit and you ain't going to a funeral, they're gonna know something's up, follow me.  
  
After switching their uniforms for some 'regular' clothes, they headed into a local diner, Z could hear J and M complaining behind her, she turned around and told them to shut up. Then she walked over to the front counter and spoke with the mananger.  
  
J: I feel like the gum stuck to someone's shoe.  
  
X: Shutup.  
  
Z finished speaking with the manager and he went into the kitchen.  
  
Z: What a day, the guys down on 978th would NEVER believe this.  
  
M: I have to say, it's been interesting working with you.  
  
Z: Let's just see if you feel the same way after we dive into Mr. Kree-ak's fruit stand later.  
  
Z went back to the table and X came up to M.  
  
X: She likes you.  
  
M: How do you know?  
  
X: Last guy who said 'it's been interesting working with you', she spit on him!  
  
They walked back to the table and the manager came out from the kitchen with fifteen pizzas ready to go, he threw them over to J, M, X, and Z. Z slowed them down and caught them with one hand behind her back, she put them down on the table, and J became disgusted.  
  
J: What is that?  
  
Z: That, is fifteen black olive pizzas.  
  
J: What for?  
  
Z: For lunch.  
  
M: At three in the afternoon?  
  
X: That's lunch in our time.  
  
M: So explain this to us again, about why we're considered a threat around here?  
  
J: Yeah, because--cuz Men In Black, we're the good guys.  
  
Z: Not around here, a couple months ago, guy named agent Kay come running through here, started harassing a bunch of the local people. Then he started to become more trouble, started blackmailing people, death threats, the whole ordeal. Then one day he started to muscle in on us, ordered everybody off the planet, threatened to blow us to slimy smithereens. Said we were unfit to continue with our ways of life, warned us if we didn't clear out within the next 72 hours, we'd all suffer.   
  
J: What happened?  
  
Z: Well a bunch of us got fed up with it, and decided we weren't going to take anymore of his lip, so just before midnight that night I attacked. Decided that the others would just slow me down, so I went ahead and fought him, singed his eyebrows off. Told him if he showed his face around here again I'd blow him to one of Jupiter's moons with your teacher, he left that night, haven't seen him since. And since, nobody's forgiven him for threatening to run us off the planet, find any MIB nothing but trouble. And that was only proven once more when you two showed up earlier.  
  
J: Us?  
  
Z: No,no,no, M seems pretty much harmless, you J, you seem pretty much accident prone.  
  
J: Accident prone?  
  
Z: Actually, both of you are trouble, you can't stop losing your temper, and he can't shut up.  
  
M: I resent that, I don't...!  
  
Z shoved a large piece of pizza far back into M's mouth.  
  
Z: I rest my case at that.  
  
X: Hey Z, we better get moving, we're wanted at 758 soon.  
  
Z: Good point,  
  
J: Wait a minute, we're not going anywhere yet, Z, get rid of your gum.  
  
Z: You don't want to do that, J...  
  
J: Get rid of the gum.  
  
Z: All right, just let me find someone to spit on.  
  
J: What?  
  
Z: Uh-oh, a-a-a-a-achoo!  
  
Z wound up spitting on M, J turned to see him stuck to the wall and caught in a giant grey web.  
  
J: Apparently I've got more to learn about this place than I thought.  
  
Z: Don't worry, I'll get him down.  
  
J: And how are you going to do that?  
  
Z spread ten inch claws from her fingers, she jumped to the wall and slashed the web to bits.  
  
X: When it takes a victim the webs are as strong as solid steel, mixed with titanium and iron. When its shredded, its as harmless as silly string.  
  
J: What?  
  
Z: String confetti, don't you know anything, J?  
  
M: What was that for?  
  
Z: Sorry, I caught a cold the other day, I would've spit on the bouncer of this place.  
  
X: You see, that's one handy weapon we like to keep at hand, in short, it looks like gum, but you better watch out when someone spits it at ya.  
  
M: Yeck.  
  
Z: I know its slimy, but that's to be expected after being in someone's mouth.  
  
M: Not that, part of your web got stuck in my eye.  
  
Z: Let me take a look, yep, it's in there, I'll get it out.  
  
Z took out a small device that looked like the top of a ball point pen on one side, with a large green point at the other. There was a green flash of light, the web was inside of the green end.  
  
J: That does it, I'm out of here.  
  
X: I agree, come on Z, let's get out of here.  
  
J: Wait a minute, where's Frank?  
  
Z: In the car.  
  
J: What car? SOmeone stole our car.  
  
X: Not your car, our car.  
  
They walked out of the diner over to a fancy black car with Frank up front listening to Baha Men again.  
  
Everybody: FRANK!  
  
Frank: What?  
  
J: For a car completely different from ours, it sure seems to have the same controls.  
  
Z: That's what you think.  
  
J: Allright, everybody get in, I'm driving.  
  
Z: You'll be sorry.  
  
Z and X were seating in the back, J and M were in the front, and Frank was in the middle. You're probably wondering how they did that, there were three rows of seats in the car! J started up the engine and they took off in the air!  
  
Z: If we run into bumpy air, we're going to be in trouble.  
  
M: Why?  
  
Z: There's no roof for the car!  
  
J thought he knew which controls handled what, but he didn't have the slightest clue, they started bumping from side to side, knocking into everything.  
  
Z: You're going to get us killed, move over, I'm driving!  
  
Z jumped into the front seat and kicked J over into the passenger seat, with M moving into the middle. J couldn't help but notice the controls looked like the same ones found on a control pad for a Nintendo game.  
  
J: The controls of our car are just like this, why do they act different?  
  
X: You're not on Earth anymore boy.  
  
M: Where'd you get the idea to have controls made like that anyway?  
  
Z: We dropped in on Earth a few times, we got into video games.  
  
X: That's where we got the idea to make the controls for the car.  
  
J: You mean YOU made this car?  
  
Z: Yep.  
  
J: That we're in 10,000 feet off the ground?  
  
Z and X: Yep.  
  
J: I'm out of here.  
  
X: No you don't!  
  
Z: Will you two knock if off? You're rocking the car!  
  
They wound up almost crashing into a building, but they started falling to the ground.  
  
Z+X: Oh no!  
  
J: Ah here we go again!  
  
They fell to the ground and crashed, they got knocked unconscious, only time could tell what would be next.  
  
(Here's where 2 comes to an end, I plan on having 3 up soon.) 


	3. For Your Eyes Only

For Your Eyes Only  
  
Disclaimer: You should know by now!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
J woke up and found he was in somebody's apartment, he shot up off the bed and looked around, he saw M was still out cold on the bed next to it. It was then that he realized there was a problem, they were back in their MIB suits again, before they crashed he was still wearing a red jacket, grey shirt and blue jeans. And M was wearing a white shirt, black vest and blue jeans. There was another problem, they were still outside when they crashed, how'd they get inside, and whose apartment were they in for that matter?  
  
Just then, something caught Jay's eye, over on the table was a neuralyzer, aha, he had plans for when X and Z came back. Then he heard M come to again.  
  
M: What're you doing?  
  
J: I don't think we can trust her M, I think she spoke too much, I think she knows too much.  
  
M: What're you going to do?  
  
J: I've got no choice, I'm gonna flash her.  
  
M: How far back?  
  
J: Back to when she claimed this all started, you remember what she said about K?  
  
M: Yeah.  
  
J: It doesn't sound like his kind of work, but then again, she said it was in July, that's when we started getting lined up by experience at headquarters. But I don't know which way it goes.  
  
They heard X and Z come in through the front door.  
  
Z: Well, I see you're up and about, have a nice nap?  
  
M: Z, we were knocked unconscious because your brother and J couldn't stop arguing. Where have you been?  
  
Z: Fixing the car.  
  
J: Z, look at me.  
  
Z: J, just cuz I'm over 21 doesn't mean I'm interested.  
  
J: Look at me!  
  
Z: Allright what is it?  
  
J: Look Z, you're a good kid and all, but I'm gonna have to flash ya.  
  
Z: Don't be ridiculous J, you can't do that, you've got the wrong kind of body, flat chest, hairy stomach, the works.  
  
J: No, no, no, not like that, you see, this thing here's a neuralizer, when it flashes, you won't remember the first thing that's happened, I'm gonna have to plant a new memory in you...  
  
Z: Is he joking?  
  
M: No he's not.  
  
J: That's right, this is serious, and don't you dare start crying!  
  
Z: Go ahead,  
  
J put on his sunglasses and hesitated a split second to flash her, but when he tried, it didn't work.  
  
M: What's going on?  
  
J: It's not working, I don't get it, it was working the last time we used it.  
  
The neuralizer went off in Jay's face.  
  
J: How do you like that? I flashed myself, M, when we get back to headquarters, remind me not to tell Zed about this, wait a minute, how do I know that if I just flashed myself?  
  
Z: You really are new around here, that's one of ours, they look the same on the outside, but they're two completely different things. With this, you get flashed, you go blind for about 10 seconds, then you see green and purple dots.  
  
M: How long?  
  
Z: Three weeks.  
  
J: Very bright.  
  
M: And very effective.  
  
Z: Indeed, around here we use them mainly on drunken aliens, zombies and mother in laws.  
  
M: You've got zombies up here?  
  
J: You've got mother-in-laws up here?  
  
Z: Yes, indeed so, however another favorite is the teenaged girls, they take these when they go on dates all the time. But let's speak of other matters, would you two care to try and learn again how to drive the car?  
  
J+M: Sure...  
  
Z: Are you sure, Jay? This might get a little crazy for you.  
  
J: You wanna talk crazy? Let's talk crazy, here's what I've had to go through, I delivered a baby octopus who spit up on me two seconds after it was born, I got slimed on by two oversized aliens, I have to listen to Elvis Presley while tracking down some alien butt, my partner becomes a postman, I work with a dog who sings Gloria Gaynor, I lose a girl because she's an alien who has to split before midnight, I get proclaimed a fool in front of thousands of people, I ride a 600 foot worm that eats half a subway train. I get stuck with a partner who makes a scene by crying in the middle of a diner cuz he thinks I'm gonna neuralize him. I get bumped into from behind, I crash, the roof of my car gets stolen, then the whole thing gets stolen, now I'm here talking with two identical twins who don't have anything in common, I risk getting my head blown off and someone stole my clothes while I was sleeping! So what else could go wrong?  
  
Z: You'd be surprised...  
  
X: But since you're so stubborn, let's go.  
  
They went out to the car again, J and Z took the front seat, M and X took the back.  
  
Z: Okay, let's go over this first, the arrow buttons go as directed, up is forward, down back, sides left and right, the joystick is the throttle, and the black button is the horn. The blue button is the brakes.  
  
M: What's that red button there?  
  
Z: That is the accelerator, we save on foot space.  
  
J: Z, that is impossible, there is no way you can have the accelerator up there.  
  
Z pressed the red button and they went off storming through the air.  
  
J: Then again, seeing has how the two of YOU MADE this car, I can see how that works.  
  
X: Look out, we're going through a narrow space.  
  
Z: Oh good, time for some music.  
  
J: You don't listen to Elvis do you?  
  
Z: No.  
  
They went through a narrow slanted gap into between two buildings and Z turned on Kris Kross 'Jump', The car bounced from side to side until they came out of the space.  
  
J: Z, don't ever play Jump when we're going through a narrow hole in between two buildings.  
  
Z: No problem, especially since I'm not even driving.  
  
J: WHAT!?  
  
Earlier Z mentioned there was no roof on the car, yet they had turned upside down and she was lying on top of nothing, still in the car though. J tried driving the car from upside-down to right-side up, it took a while, but...  
  
Z: Well, I'd say that you're pretty much getting the hang of it, now land this thing, I wanna go over this one more time.  
  
J: Okay, what does what?  
  
Z: The up button goes forward, down back, sides left and right, the red button is the accelerator, the blue button is the brakes, the green one is the gas, the black one is the horn.  
  
M: What's that one do?  
  
Z: That one you can go three different directions at once.  
  
J: I'd like to see that.  
  
Z pressed the red button and they were off again, they almost collided with a moving truck, but Z pressed the giant blue button and the car split into four pieces!  
  
Z: I hate it when it does that, the three rows go themselves, the front goes into two. Oh well, might as well try and find that other lunkhead.  
  
As she went through the sky, she collided with M, smashing the front row back to one piece.  
  
Z: About time, nice to see ya stranger, you come here often?  
  
M: Only on occasions, #*^*!*^*!*#, what's going on here?  
  
Z: Sorry, I forgot to tell you, sometimes the front of the car likes to split into two pieces.  
  
M: Wonderful.  
  
Z: Well, look on the bright side, we won't have to listen to your partner complaining for a while.  
  
J: That's what you think!  
  
Z: What're you doing back here?  
  
J: Getting air sick, Z, you're a terrible driver.  
  
Z: That's not me, once we split up, the car is automatic.  
  
X: And believe me stranger, if you're going to start traveling with us, you better get used to it.  
  
J: Now where're we going?  
  
Z: Back home...  
  
Once they got back, J went out, and X went down to the junkyard, Z was in the living room sleeping, and M was in the bathroom shaving his mustache. The reflection in the mirror went completely black.  
  
M: How do you like that? I cut my head off.  
  
The mirror casted a reflection, but it wasn't of him, it was of...  
  
M: ZED!  
  
Zed: Nice look, M, you got a date?  
  
M: What're you doing?  
  
Zed: What I want to know is why haven't you returned? Where are you?  
  
M: Stuck in a new reality, called Twisted, sure lives up to its name too, you wouldn't believe what goes on here.  
  
Zed: Men In Black are wanted men, the people there don't suffer any physical damage and they spit on people they don't like.  
  
M: Yeah, how'd you know?  
  
Zed: I've had men go out there before. Now listen, pick up your communicator, I've got something to show you.  
  
M: What communicator? Everything was stolen earlier.  
  
Zed: Over on the table, don't you know anything?  
  
M walked into the bedroom and picked up J's communicator.  
  
M: Zed, Zed? How do you like that? I'm talking to a foot.  
  
Zed's picture came up on it.  
  
Zed: I thought for sure by now you knew something.  
  
M didn't feel like talking with him, so he gave him the same excuse Zed did him last year.  
  
M: You're breaking up, you're breaking up, *communicator goes black* goodbye!  
  
Z: You talking to whackos again?  
  
M: So you were the ones who stole our equipment.  
  
Z: What can I say, when I see a surefire sucker I don't want going nowhere, I got ways to make them stay. A-a-a-achoo!  
  
Z and M disappeared and got zapped into the middle of the streets.  
  
M: What just happened?  
  
Z: Sorry, I forgot to tell you, I've got ways of being in two places at once, and what we just went through is an example of it.  
  
Their conversation was cut short when eight 200 lb. thugs came out from the shadows, apparently, they were the reason steroid sales were still going, Z and M could've pulled the biggest bone breaking moves possible and nothing happened.  
  
M: I've got something to say.  
  
Thug 1: What?  
  
M took out a flasher and set it off in the thug's eyes, then they took off running, but the thugs were right behind them. Back at the building, X and J had just returned themselves.  
  
X: Seems pretty quiet around here, I guess Z and that fruitcake M went somewhere.  
  
J: One, M is not a fruitcake, fruitbasket maybe, and two, why he would go anywhere with her is beyond my mind.  
  
X: J, the reason doughnuts have holes in them is beyond your mind.  
  
J went through the inside of his jacket and then his pockets.  
  
J: I left my shades in the bedroom.  
  
J opened the bedroom door, walked in and screamed. He saw Z and M in bed together, apparently they were just waking up.  
  
M: What is going on?  
  
Z: Normally I don't mind a pervert in the house cuz I don't undress, but this is a surefire invasion of privacy, J.  
  
J: And apparently it's a good thing I WAS invading, Z, what do you think you're doing?  
  
J grabbed Z and dragged her out of bed, she still had all her clothes on.  
  
J: Okay, this one I didn't expect to see, M?  
  
M: I don't even want to go there, I've got a demand for privacy too you know.  
  
Z: Put me down you pervert, I aoughtta whoop your behind like your momma did James.  
  
Z kicked J and landed back in bed, X walked in and couldn't believe his eyes.  
  
X: Oh boy, I don't believe this. I feel terrible, I feel like, I feel like...  
  
J beat him to it and passed out on the floor.  
  
X: Oh---never mind, I'm okay now...  
  
J woke up on the couch screaming.  
  
J: Thank goodness, it was all a dream.  
  
M: What was?  
  
J: I had a dream that you and Z were in bed, that's ridiculous though, right?  
  
M: Not exactly.  
  
J: Oh no!  
  
J fell down on the couch.  
  
M: I will admit, you did catch us in bed, but not like THAT, the last thing I remember before you came in was getting hit on the back of the head with something, while I was out in the streets with her. A pack of local thugs came after us, and they seemed relentless, invincible, and indestructable, nothing we did had any effect on them!  
  
J: You telling the truth?  
  
M: If I'm lying, may I become sterile.  
  
J: You just might, have you seen Z?  
  
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, X was fixing a pizza when Z popped up.  
  
Z: X, I'm in trouble.  
  
X: Then you marry M! Wait a minute, I thought we were barren until age 3,000.  
  
Z: No,no,no, not like that, J's got some crazy thoughts in his head about what happened earlier.  
  
X: Well remember, Z, J actually saw you and M in bed together.  
  
Z: Sure we were in bed together, but he thinks we were in bed together! He already knows we still had our clothes on, and we were just waking up when he walked in. What more proof does he need?  
  
X: Probably two unused condoms and a pregnancy test.  
  
Z: You've been watching too much TV. Now come on X, this is serious, J is out there jumping to conclusions.  
  
X: How'd this whole thing happen?  
  
Z: M and me got chased up street by the West Coast Brothers, two of them knocked us out, I think by then, I was still conscious in a way, and managed to transport us here, but I got the directions mixed up and instead of landing in the living room it was in the bedroom.  
  
X: Why don't you tell J that?  
  
Z: He doesn't even know the first thing about driving a car around here! You think he can understand this?  
  
X: Well, there's always another alternative.  
  
Z: And the way things are with those two cuckoos, the second try's more likely to believe than the first.  
  
A short while afterwards, M went back into Z's bedroom, she was lying on the bed with her head buried underneath a pillow.  
  
M: Z, is something wrong?  
  
Z: No, go away.  
  
M: Come on, Z, don't cry.  
  
Z: I'm not crying.  
  
Z removed the top pillow and brought her head up.  
  
Z: I'm bleeding.  
  
Z showed M the second pillow, partially covered in blood, he could also see that her lip had been split.  
  
M: What?  
  
Z: I've got an idea, since J won't believe the truth, I decided to come up with the most outrageous lie I could think of. You tell J I tried to kill you, I dragged you into the bedroom where no one would see, and tried to strangle you. But you took a heavy object like the clock on the table and tried to beat me over the head with it. You did, it worked, that's where the blood came from, we started fighting for so long, we finally passed out on the bed.  
  
M: That is crazy, he'll never believe that.  
  
Z: There's just no pleasing that boy is there? He won't believe the truth, he won't believe a lie, what will he believe?  
  
The next morning, Z entered the living room to see M looking like a mess.  
  
Z: M, don't tell me you and J stayed up all night yelling at each other again.  
  
M: No, last night we stayed up slapping each other.  
  
Z: So that's why parts of you are purple, other parts I don't want to know about.  
  
Z walked into the kitchen and took a bottle out of a six-pack and snapped off the cap.  
  
Z: Try this.  
  
M: No thanks, I don't drink.  
  
Z: What drink? There's no alcohol in here, now drink it before I beat you blue.  
  
M took the bottle and drank part of it, but then something happened. Electric sparks went flying from his eyes and his bangs, he got lifted up into mid air and started spinning around, he fell down on the couch with smoke coming out his ears.  
  
M: What is in that stuff?  
  
Z: A little bit of everything, cherry cola, orange soda, Dr. Thunder, strawberry soda, sprite, you name it, it's in there.  
  
J came out of the guest room with a black eye and a fat bottom lip.  
  
Z: Too bad M, you didn't hit him hard enough. Next time, hit both eyes at once.  
  
J: Hold it, Z, where're you going?  
  
Z: Anywhere were you ain't, if I wanna get picked up by the rear of my seat and carried around to the point of dizziness, I'll drink one of those M had.  
  
J: Get back here! I stayed up last night doing some thinking.  
  
Z: You mean in between rounds of fighting with M.  
  
J: Yeah, anyway, you said that nothing went on yesterday, and I guess once you think of it, the thought of anything going on would be pretty ridiculous, so I guess I believe you.  
  
Z: That's more like it, the next time you jump to conclusions and carry me out of bed, I'll slap your tonsils out through your ears.  
  
J: Sorry, I had a tonsilectomy a long time ago.  
  
Z: Fine, I'll beat your appendix out through your outer abdomen hole.  
  
With that, Z left the building.  
  
J: How'd she know it was an outer-------? Never mind, I don't want to know.  
  
M: Probably the same way she knew you had a hairy stomach.  
  
Just then, they heard yelling down in the streets, two of the thugs got to Z, she bit one of them on the hand, and she kicked the other one hard (if you know what I mean). J and M came out and started choking them, soon they broke loose and ran.  
  
J: Why's everybody running?  
  
Z: Because it's going to rain, you know how where you come from, you have acid rain?  
  
J: So?  
  
Z: Here it's diet cola, very effective too.  
  
M: In what way?  
  
Z: Watch...  
  
The rain started a few seconds after they finished talking, some of the aliens were desentigrating, others were dissolving, but either way, the rain got rid of them. Pretty soon, they heard X talking, but he wasn't to be found anywhere.  
  
J: Where is he?  
  
Z took a small monitor off from her belt.  
  
X: Z, you better get down here, we've got trouble.  
  
Z: Where?  
  
X: Down at 886 1,068 Street, there's been a murder.  
  
Z: Murder?  
  
J+M: Murder?  
  
Frank: Murder?  
  
Z: X, how'd Frank get down there?  
  
X: I don't know, but if he doesn't get lost, I'm gonna feed him to the local zombies!  
  
Frank: I'll see ya later, I've got places to go, people to see, zombies to avoid!!!  
  
Z: We'll be down there soon, who got murdered?  
  
X: Jazel Fleming, and this ain't gonna be a good day for anybody, its said to be another MIB murder.  
  
J: You mean they're accused of killing people around here?  
  
Z: I told you guys, K came here once and threatened everybody, now anyone of them who does come here is nothing more than a threat, and they use it to their advantage, let's move!  
  
M, J, and Z hopped into the car, this time J was driving, Z suggested they split into three to make sure at least someone survived his driving. They went speeding through the sky, and they got pulled over by an officer.  
  
Officer: Allright sonny, going pretty fast there weren't you?  
  
J: Sonny? I'm 34 years old!  
  
Officer: Not from the way you dress, those pants are big enough for a family of six, and that shirt looks like somebody vomited on geometry homework, what seems to be the problem?  
  
J: Well, uh, well...  
  
M: She's going into labor.  
  
Officer: Labor?  
  
M: Yeah, she's giving birth to...  
  
Z: Quintuplets.  
  
M: You heard her, quintuplets.  
  
Officer: Quintuplet what?  
  
Z: Quintuplet bowling pins, and if you don't let us through, the babies will be seven years old by the time we get to the hospital!  
  
Officer: Yes ma'am, right this way!  
  
J went speeding through the officer, leaving him in the dust.  
  
Officer: Poor kid, not even 2,800 and already a mother, I thought they were barren until 3,000, oh well...  
  
M: Smooth move, J.  
  
Z: Yeah, real smooth, but next time, you try lying flat on your back legs up in the air while funny boy's driving, trying to avoid explaining to an officer that we're going to investigate a homicide.  
  
J: Here we are, 886, 1068 Street.  
  
J parked the car and they ran into the building.  
  
(That's it for chapter 3, I'll have 4 up soon) 


	4. Between the Lines

Between the lines  
  
Disclaimer: Don't you know by now? NOT responsible!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Z: Allright X, what happened?  
  
X: According to what I heard, some smart aleck MIB came in here and shot Jazel, with some kind of large crazy gun.  
  
Z: Definately an MIB, but I doubt it's Kay, he always uses that small gun with a needle sticking out of it.  
  
J: This is crazy, there's just no way this could happen.  
  
Z: Oh stop your bellyaching J, it's not the first time this has happened, we've all gotten used to it by now. Basically the only murderers around here ARE MIB and some of the most homeliest aliens you've seen around here.  
  
M: What about the...  
  
Z: The imbeciles that were after us earlier?  
  
M: Yeah...  
  
Z: The West Coast Brothers aren't interested in murder, just bloody disturbances.  
  
M: Well they sure do a good job.  
  
J: So how are we going to find out who did this.  
  
Z: Never you worry, I called for some backup.  
  
Ten creatures resembling the Worms came busting through a wall in an crazy old crank-up car.  
  
J: Worms!  
  
Z: Yes, although they're not like the ones you're used to seeing on Earth, for on thing, they're bigger, by about three feet, and they're smarter, the ones here have an IQ of 1, while yours have none.  
  
M: What are they doing here?  
  
Worm 1: We were hired to investigate.  
  
Z: Have you any idea as to where the murderer might be?  
  
Worm 2: Uhhhhh not yet, but we're hot on his tail.  
  
J: Him? How do you know its a 'him'?  
  
Worm 3: Women MIB murderers always kiss the victim before they do, but in this case, if it were a she, she would've slapped her.  
  
M: I guess around here, more people got more reasons to be single.  
  
Z: More than you think.  
  
J: How old was she?  
  
Z: She was 4,089, in your time, that's 22.  
  
J: You mean on Earth?  
  
X: Quite so, a bit behind our times.  
  
J: How can you tell that it was an MIB for real?  
  
X: No fingerprints were left, we know how it goes with MIB, everything is deleted and forgotten, names, birth certificates, prints,  
  
Z: Although I wouldn't say he's too smart.  
  
M: Why?  
  
X: Because on his way out, he stumbled into a barrel of intergalactic phospherous gunk, normally we use it for throwing at people. And the prints continue half way through this part of town.  
  
Z: I say, let's go...  
  
They walked out of the building, only to be chased into a fruit stand by the West Coast Brothers, they laughed as they disappeared.  
  
Z: I'd like to meet with the boss of them, so I could shove a watermelon up his...  
  
Mr Kree-ak: Hey you little scalewags, you just went and messed up my fa-ruit stand.  
  
M: (sarcastically) Oh so sorry.  
  
M spit in Mr. Kree-ak's face.  
  
Z: M, are you sure you aren't in the wrong line of work?  
  
M: What do you mean?  
  
Z: You know everything to do around here like you came from here, and you don't know anything J.  
  
J: Since you know everything, tell me, how are we going to get out of this fruit stand? These guanabanas are sticking me to the it.  
  
Z: It doesn't take a genius to know that, this fruit can only hold someone for...  
  
So long, they fell off the stand and onto the ground. They trailed the tracks to the middle of 976 8668th Street, then they disappeared, and they found it as a red herring. On their way back, they ran into some bumpy air.  
  
Z: Well by the way Jay's driving, I don't think you'd be able to tell.  
  
J: Shut up.  
  
They ran into some more bumpy air and some traffic, during a sharp turn, X and M fell out and dropped to the ground.  
  
J: This trip here's just been more trouble than its worth, M's just been working as an MIB for one year, he doesn't know half the things I do.  
  
Z: Well that's just fine and dandy, but X is my twin brother and he's down there and so is M and his light bulb has gone out enough times for one day. They're down there so we gotta go and get them back.  
  
J: Well, here we go.  
  
J turned the car around again and they headed back, once they spotted the two, they landed the car, Z jumped out and ran over to M.  
  
J: What are you doing?  
  
Z: You're forgetting, X's my brother, he can revive himself, but M's light's growing dimmer every time this happens.  
  
Z stuck her nails into M's neck again, but nothing happened, she blew on her nails with the wind of a hurricane, dust and smoke went in the air, and she tried again. She put so much into it this time, his body started vibrating, sparks started to fly, and it worked.  
  
M: What happened?  
  
X: We got knocked out of the car, and hit solid ground, that's what happened.  
  
As soon as he finished speaking, Z got shot at from above, she jumped into Jay's arms, but when she saw she was, she dropped herself back on the ground. They looked up and saw someone in a black suit at the fifth floor in a building make a run for it. They decided to tail him and break his neck, X and M were the fastest ones up, J was behind them, but Z had disappeared someone on the third floor. Shortly after a while, J wore himself out, he stopped to catch his breath. A cold clamy hand reached out from behind the wall and grabbed him. He turned around only to see Z.  
  
Z: Look, J, I know we got our differences, but I need your help.  
  
J: With what?  
  
Z showed him the lower part of her left arm, she had something resembling a blade disc stuck half way in it. J could easily see that she lost a lot of blood.  
  
Z: There's an infirmary and an operating room down the hall, even though this thing doesn't hurt me, I need to get it out.  
  
J moved her into the infirmary, and put her on a cold metal operating table. He took out a several medical supplies for removing things during an operation. He prepared to remove the blade, although she didn't cry or say anything, she had a terrible look on her face.  
  
J: Forgive me for doing this...  
  
J went through with the procedure, normally for someone else there would be horrifying pain, even more so since he didn't bother with anesthesia. But Z couldn't have cared less about it, finally once he removed it, he soaked a bunch of gauze in a bottle of peroxide and tightly wrapped it around her arm. As they exited the infirmary, they ran into X and M.  
  
J: Did you find him?  
  
M: Na, stupid here tripped and he got away.  
  
X: But it definately looks like Kay's back in his work again.  
  
Z: What'll we do?  
  
J: If he got away, I say don't go chasing someone who ain't even there.  
  
Z: Yeah, let's get back to the apartment before we get chased down the elevator shaft.  
  
By the time they returned, it was already dark out, time sure went by fast over there. No wonder she's 2,738, J thought.  
  
J: Where're you going?  
  
Z: To get some sleep, after today, I'm beat, although I guess I do owe you for helping me earlier.  
  
J: Ahhh, forget it, Z, even though we've been at each other's throats the last couple days, you're an okay kid.  
  
Z looked at him with an irritated face.  
  
J: Person, but you gotta admit Z, if you were on Earth, you'd be clarified as a 14 year old.  
  
Z: Which is why I'm not on Earth, now if you will excuse me, I am going to bed, and if you stare in through the key hole...  
  
J waited in suspense for her to finish.   
  
Z: Then you're going to be very disappointed, I blocked it up with scotch tape three weeks ago.  
  
Z closed the door and lied down in bed, and shut off the light, within a few minutes, J could hear screaming and struggling coming from the bedroom, he ran in only to find M back in bed with her.  
  
J: M, what do you think you're doing?  
  
M: Honest, J, I didn't know she was in here, I came in through the back door and stumbled in here a few seconds ago.  
  
J started screaming at M and tried dragging him out of bed by his armpits.  
  
Z: Leave him, J, I need someone to talk to, and out of the two of you, he's the most normal one who would even understand what I've got to say.  
  
J left, leaving the two to speak in private.  
  
M: Z, I am truly sorry, I didn't know you were in here, I-----  
  
Z: Shutup M...  
  
Z tilted M's head back and kissed him on the lips for a period of time, while he was recovering from the shock, she fell down in bed asleep. Overwhelmed by the shock, he fell down on the bed as well. A short while later, he walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, J could hear M throwing water on himself repeatedly.  
  
J: M, are you washing up or trying to drown yourself in the South Sink?  
  
M: J, I need help, I'm in trouble.  
  
J: Cool it man, I've seen the Cosby Show, you'll go to the hospital, you'll huff and puff, and in the end, you'll give birth to a six foot submarine sandwich and 2 liter orange soda.  
  
M: No, not like that, earlier something happened between me and Z.  
  
J: She hit ya?  
  
M: Worse  
  
J: She BIT ya?  
  
M: Not quite, she kissed me.  
  
J: What?  
  
M: Well, she did this *tilts J's head back* and then she kissed me.  
  
J: Uh-huh, and when she did, did you feel anything between the two of you.  
  
M: Yes, a nice cold draft.  
  
J: I don't mean like that.  
  
M: I know what you mean, yes and no.  
  
J: What do you mean yes and no?  
  
M: I mean I know what I have to do, and it's not going to be good for either of us either way it turns out.  
  
M went back into the bedroom, Z was already up and about.  
  
M: Z, we need to talk.  
  
Z: What about? Bad news.  
  
M: Yes.  
  
Z: What kind of bad news?  
  
M: You better sit down, this isn't going to be easy, I'm not sure how to put what I've go to say, and I don't want you to start crying.  
  
Z: M, one thing you should know about me, I do not cry when some little thing starts up, I never did, I don't, I won't, that's the way I am, now what is it?  
  
M: Earlier when you kissed me, I---  
  
Z: Didn't like it.  
  
M: It's not that, it's just----I'm a grown man, here you're 2,738 yes, but where I come from, you'd just be 14.  
  
Z: I'm barren until 18.  
  
M: That's not what matters, Z, I------why did you kiss me?  
  
Z: I like you, you seem more adjusted around here, you're certainly better than Jay, and you're nice.  
  
M: You're nice too, but that's the problem, the two of us don't belong in the same picture because...  
  
Z: Because I'm barren?  
  
M: No, not because of that.  
  
Z: You mean it'd be like this, even if I was six inches taller, two thousand years older, and had larger beachballs?  
  
M broke out laughing.  
  
M: I'm embarrassed to answer that.  
  
Z: YOU'RE embarrassed?  
  
M: Z, I'm going to ask you again, and this time I'm hoping for a different answer, why did you kiss me?  
  
Z: Let's go by your standards, I'm 14, I'm not pregnant, I'm not a lesbian, I'm very ugly, also very stupid, and I've got absolutely no man in my life except for X, but that's just cuz he's my twin brother. Now what have I got going on for me? You mind if I say something, M? Normally, the Men in Black don't act human cuz they're always on duty, Kay put Earth in trouble by being involved with some space queen. But you----you're too nice to be one of them, you actually act human.  
  
M: And you are a minor where I come from, it would never work, Z, it just wouldn't, and I'm not saying this just to spite you, if Jay and I got back to headquarters, they'd see to it that it never worked.  
  
Z: Oh boy,  
  
M: Listen Z, you're going to make a great wife, but to someone else, things could never work out between us, I'm dressed head to toe in black and white, you blow up the rainbow on your clothes, I'm used to things being somewhat quiet, you knock the volume control up fifteen times more. I'm on my feet all day fighting aliens, you do I don't know what.   
  
Z: I know, but I hear that sometimes the two most different people make the greatest couples.  
  
M: Z...  
  
J: M, get out here...  
  
M walked out into the front to see J, X, and Kay, back again.  
  
M: What's he doing here?  
  
J: Apparently Kay found a way to get here from Earth, so now we can go back now, thank you for the lovely tour of the town.  
  
Z: Hold it, nobody's going anywhere, you've got a lot of explaining to do K.  
  
K: About what?  
  
Z: You know about what, you came here two months ago and threatened everybody, now it's time for revenge.  
  
K: I don't know what you're talking about?  
  
Z: Oh yeah?  
  
Z, X, J, and M got zapped out of there and to a place that resembled MIB headquarters.  
  
J: Where are we?  
  
Z: You would've found out sooner or later, this is the check in station, people from Earth can come here through there. Normally it doesn't work at this time of day.  
  
J: How do they get here?  
  
Z: You see that electric static ball over there?  
  
J: Yeah.  
  
Z: It energizes electricity to zap people from one place to the next.  
  
M: No kidding.  
  
Z stumbled and fell on the floor next to the electric ball, it got genereated up and transported her out of there before anything could be done. She looked up and saw MIB all around her, finally she passed out. Later she awoke in someone's office, she fell off the desk and looked around.  
  
Z: I've got a feeling I know who works here...  
  
Just like so, in came Zed, Z got up and was ready for the kill.  
  
Z: You.  
  
Zed: YOU!  
  
Z: What's the big idea of this? What am I doing here?  
  
Zed: That's what I'd like to know, we don't approve of road kill.  
  
Z: Look in the mirror again?  
  
Zed: Z, you never cease to disgust me.  
  
Z: I know the feeling, you're 50 years old and still worthless.  
  
Zed: How long has it been?  
  
Z: Twenty five years since this started, and you're just as ugly as I remember.  
  
Zed: You always were trouble. I would've had youe exterminated except your brother got in the way. The dirty rat.  
  
Z: Don't you talk about my brother! ANd let me tell you something else you tub of lard.  
  
Zed: What?  
  
Z passed out and hit the floor, Zed called over to an MIB in the hall.  
  
Zed: Call the morgue.  
  
J: What just happened here?  
  
X: THat thing doesn't start up automatically, someone from Earth must've started it, and I sense it's a lowdown deadbeat.  
  
M: You mean like Zed?  
  
X: He's still alive? If so, that would explain it.  
  
J: You know him?  
  
X: Know him? We tried to kill him at one time, but he got away.  
  
J: When was that?  
  
X: About twenty five years ago, if Z's not back she must be in trouble, let's go.  
  
Z awoke on a cold metal table, she looked around and realized she was surrounded by dead bodies, she looked and saw she was wearing something similar to a hospital gown.  
  
Z: How do you like that? Somebody stole my clothes, who steals a person's clothes? I gotta get out of here.  
  
Z changed into her old clothes and was ready to leave when she heard two people coming, she dove onto the table and threw the sheet over her body.  
  
Zed: Take this body to the crematory.  
  
Z: Crematory? That's a hot one, I'm getting out of here!  
  
Zed and the coroner screamed, the coroner ran out the door, Zed slipped and fell down the laundry chute. Z walked over to the chute and dropped a blanket down on Zed, who was unconscious.  
  
Z: I doubt he'll need that to keep him warm where he's going, now to get out of here.  
  
End of 4, 5's coming up soon. 


End file.
